I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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