Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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