can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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