Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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