i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Im part way to drunk.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
