At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I think I just sharted jello shots
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