His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I would fuck him just for his dog
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
