you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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