I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
drinking out of a sandbucket again
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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