We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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