in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize