are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
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