i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
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