is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
