you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
my shit smells like andre
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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