Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
