i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
