hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
