i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Randomize
