Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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