why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
