Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize