was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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