My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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