Christians are straight up FREAKS
I skipped work to stalk him.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
