Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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