I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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