I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Randomize
