i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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