I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Randomize
