sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
