3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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