I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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