All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
You need Xanax blowdarts
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
You were trust falling into bushes
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
