she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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