It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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