I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
COCAINE IS GR8
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
