why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
