there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
