if i can run in heels then i can drive
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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