He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
