Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
