If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
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