i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
