I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Randomize
