I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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