Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Randomize
