Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
