he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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