Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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