Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
