Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(269): View more from Michigan

3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall

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(443): View more from Maryland

I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong

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(573): View more from Missouri

They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.

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(785): View more from Kansas

Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.

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(518): View more from New York

She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.

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(406): View more from Montana

Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.

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(250): View more from British Columbia

I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...

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(609): View more from New Jersey

I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.

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(231): View more from Michigan

Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?

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