You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I still have a little drunk in my system
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
