You're so nebulous sometimes
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
